


Cultural Enlightenment

by evaderstrider



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: AM - Freeform, Chopsticks are hard, GOIMG, Hanzo is a patient bean, I, I'm bad at portraying them, If this was a smut-fic, It is not a smut-fic, Keeps, LITERALLY, M/M, McCree can't grasp things, McCree's dick is harder, No Smut, OR IT WOULD BE, S C R E A M, deleting, fluffy bullshit, it's cute, this, to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 22:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9206672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaderstrider/pseuds/evaderstrider
Summary: Hanzo insists that Jesse doesn't need to learn how to use chopsticks, but the cowboy fool wants to be closer to his Japanese boyfriend.It's endearing and Hanzo can't handle it most of the time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND-  
> I HAVE COPY/PASTED THIS IN HERE SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE I'M DUMB AND KEEP. CLOSING. THE TAB.
> 
> This is loosely based around a head can non/scenario my friend and I came up with.
> 
> En-friggen-joy.

     With his eyes closed, Hanzo was sat in the middle of the floor, hands folded in his lap... The room smelled of incense, and the atmosphere was that of the calm ocean - flowing ceaselessly, no distraction, tranquil. The archer inhaled softly, relaxed as he cleared his mind of any and all-

 

"Howdy, sweetheart!" The booming voice effectively shattered the aura he had built up, Hanzo jumped. The shorter man scowled, then sighed, well aware of the fact shouting at his (cow)boyfriend would solve nothing. "Oh, sorry, doll- Am I interruptin' somethin'..?" Jesse's voice softened and he looked about the room with thinly veiled guilt, before his eyes rested on the Japanese man... Whose own expression had softened at the sight. McCree was like a young dog, big and dopey. Usually breaking things, but the puppydog eyes make it impossible to remain enraged, or even mildly displeased.

"...No, I was just meditating... I can continue once you've left - What did you want, Jesse?" Hanzo was looking up at the other, he took note of the relief that flickered across his face with the reassurance he hadn't fucked up entirely.

"I was just wonderin' if you'd... Uh..." He looked down.

"...If I would..?" Hanzo quirked a brow, coaxing him with his tone. "What? If I would what..?"

"Teach me how to use... Them- Those stick-thingies ya' eat with?" Jesse smiled sheepishly. Hanzo held a blank expression. Really? Seriously?

"...Jesse, are you being serious?"

"Yes, I am, completely serious, darlin'." The gunslinger's expression said it all. And Hanzo was confused. Very confused.

"Why do you want... To learn to eat with chopsticks?" 

"Well, I reckon it'd... Bring us closer together? I wanna know more 'bout ya', including the experience of eatin' like ya'." Hanzo squinted, 'Don't do it-' McCree beamed at him. The archer's eyes widened a fraction and he felt his cheeks warm at the sight. Casually grasping his chest, Hanzo turned away.

" _The man will be the death of me-_ " he muttered in Japanese, followed shortly after with a terse, "Yes, of course I will teach you, now leave and let me continue my meditation-" 

And with that, McCree nodded and left, much more quietly than when he arrived. Hanzo waited until he heard the click of the door closing to fold over himself, pressing his face to the carpet.

"...Why is it so easy for that cowman to fluster me - he said nothing that would affect me, yet here I am, heart beating out of my chest..." He murmured, closing his eyes and balling his hands into fists. "This is inconvenient..." 

 

     Later that day, Hanzo and Jesse were sat at the table in their kitchen. Jesse looked ridiculously perplexed, as he tried to grip and maneuver the sticks between the fingers of his robotic arm. The cowboy's tongue was even poking out as he focused on the (shaking) objects in his hand. Across the table, Hanzo was watching with slight amusement. His hands were folded and beneath his chin, brown eyes watching the other with analytical steadiness. Which made Jesse even more nervous.  

 ** _Snap!_**  

They both blinked and looked at the broken pair of chopsticks in the robotic hand... Hanzo pursed his lips, the only break in his stony expression. Jesse's eyes were wide and his face had gone white. 

"I'm sorry, darlin'- I'm so sorry..!" He squeaked out. Hanzo's brows were furrowed now.

"Why are you apologising...?"

"I broke'em!"

"...Jesse-kun, there are more chopsticks." Hanzo was fighting to keep his expression neutral, but he let a small smile slip. This man. This man right here... He was so sincere, so wholesome, he was not only trying to learn to use chopsticks solely to get closer to him, but Hanzo could tell that he was so determined to get it right - breaking cheap wooden chopsticks almost brought him to tears! Jesse was so pure... The archer could hardly handle it..!

 

     Two days have passed, the two are again at the table, but this time McCree is holding the chopsticks in his fleshy-hand, and the process is much smoother. The chopsticks weren't shaking in his grasp this time. But the gunslinger was still having trouble holding the damn things. It really shouldn't be that hard.

"Jesse... You do not have to do this, you know." Hanzo tried to reason, his head tilted to rest on his hand. Eyes never leaving the other's hand as he tried to pick up a sushi roll.

"But I wanna, that's the thing, doll." There goes that enticing, innocent smile again. Hanzo sighed, gesturing for Jesse to continue after he fixed the utensils in his hand... For the eighteenth time already... He had to admit, he admired McCree's tenacity. So much so that he smiled quite a bit as he watched the excitement on his face when he finally picked up a sushi roll and (almost) brought it to his mouth.

 

 

"Good job, Jesse~ Now, noodles." Hanzo hummed, watching the cowboy's expression fall. It is the fifth day since the Broken Chopstick Incident, and Hanzo should not find the pout on this man's face as funny as he does, but he does. And he can't smother the smirk on his face as he sets down two bowls of noodles.

"Don't look at me like that, McCree... You wanted to do this, I am not forcing you to- What...are you doing..?" Hanzo had looked up to see Jesse slowly lifting the bowl to his lips, "Jesse..." He sighed, watching as the cowboy agonisingly slowly scooted the noodles into his mouth using a chopstick. "...That is not how you eat with those. Come now, you are doing well, you can handle eating noodles." He gently brought the bowl down to the table again, patting McCree's cheek as he pouted. The sight was unreasonably heartbreaking, Jesse wanted nothing more than to be able to learn about Hanzo's culture and he was so determined to get it right. The Shimada sighed and stood up, earning a confused and panicked look from McCree. Walking around the table, Hanzo sat beside him and fixed the chopsticks in the cowboy's hand, his own hands cupping around it.

"Try one more time, Jesse, I am sure you will get the hang of it." Hanzo offered a genuine, albeit small, smile to the other man. Which coaxed a faint blush and a nervous smile from McCree. With a nod, he was back at grasping slippery noodles with sticks. And Hanzo was back to trying not to snicker when the other would make some form of a distressed noise. 

"You are trying too hard to grasp them, my  _love._ " Hanzo watched as Jesse's face  _lit up_ with his words. He made no comment and just reached over to guide his hands from the bowl to his mouth. "See? Grip too firmly and the noodles pinch and break, too loosely and they slip through the utensils." 

It was obvious that McCree was not paying even the slightest amount of attention to his words. Hanzo snapped his fingers in front of the cowman's face.

"McCree..? Are you alright?" He spoke gently, though concern did taint his tone.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, darlin'. I don't think I've ever heard ya' call me anythin' other than my name..." 

"Oh... Would you like me to keep calling you by just your name..?" Hanzo tilted his head, glancing at the table a bit sheepishly. McCree quirked a brow and  put the chopsticks down, shaking his head.

"No! No, I mean... Hey, do you, sweetpea, but I wouldn't be opposed to some pet names." He grinned, Hanzo nodded slowly.

 

     Wow, here's a time skip, and McCree knows how to use chopsticks! Hanzo has decided to fuck with him, though. As they're preparing for dinner, Hanzo looks over at his boyfriend, who is proudly brandishing the chopsticks - he hasn't gotten around to teaching McCree etiquette for the traditional utensils... But he didn't exactly mind, so long as the man was happy.

He was prepared to squash that happiness, though. Walking over to the table, he set down two bowls and watched Jesse's expression fall.

"...Doll, 'ow am I s'pposed t'eat liquid..." He spoke quietly, holding up the chopsticks, "...With sticks...?" Hanzo smirked, just nudging the bowl closer and sitting down...

Only when McCree was pouting and staring at the soup and sticks did Hanzo lean forward and boop the cowboy's head with a spoon. When Jesse looked up, Hanzo swore he had not, and would never again, see a man get so excited over a metal spoon.

"You do not eat soup with chopsticks, I was joking." Hanzo said gently, McCree nearly wept with joy as he ate the soup. Hanzo just watched him, a smile slowly breaking his stoic expression as he watched him...

Even now, with soup dribbling into his beard, and him just majorly being a mess, Hanzo couldn't help but feel his heart flutter in his chest. He should be disgusted. Repulsed. Revolted... Well, maybe not such strong reactions, but he definitely shouldn't want to smooch a soup-sloppy face. Resting his cheek on his fist, the archer's lips curved into the ghost of a smile. He admired Jesse, for so many reasons...

"You okay, darl-" Jesse didn't finish his sentence, for Hanzo pulled him into a gentle kiss, ignoring the soupy lips, focusing on the other's warmth and passion, despite the surprise... When he pulled away, the cowboy blinked in surprise. "Well then... What was that all about?"

"Just had an urge." Hanzo shrugged some, leaning back to his seat and eating his soup slowly. McCree beamed at him, doing the same.

"I love you too, Hanzo."


End file.
